C'mon, already!
Psalm 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on rock, making my steps secure.
I'll admit to a good dose of disappointment upon learning, as a new Christian, that my remaking is to be a process rather than an event. Were it my way, I'd have been granted instant spiritual maturity, and all of my many faults would have fallen away like a shell. Not so much! Instead I find that God will do His work on me gradually and on His schedule. A schedule, that from my impatient, very human perspective, is maddeningly slow
So, while I'm always overjoyed and deeply grateful at the moments when I can see the evidence of His improvement in me, I'm always saddened when, having thought myself well on my way towards once and for all shedding my old lusts and faults, I fall at the first strong gust of worldly wind.
This happened over the weekend. After having a great week where I felt very close to God, and very serene, I found myself Saturday stewing over many of the same problems and falling, again, into the same old resentment and anger that I want so badly to leave behind. Then Sunday, after a very nice church service, I watched myself become the same old churlish, childish grumbler of old when things didn't go just my way.
I do pray for serenity, for calm, for shelter from temptation, and for love to replace any lingering resentment in my heart. But I want it NOW, and my God has other ideas. I'm guessing that the plans He has for me will require the understanding that there is to be gained by the lessons He's leading me through. My job for now is to accept His timeline, and endeavor to understand.
I used this analogy in Sunday school last week: We've all seen movies where a child with freshly hurt feelings will decide to run away from home, and his loving and wise Mom, rather than forbid it, will simply help him pack his suitcase and let go on his way only to shadow them down the block just far enough back to be out of sight. After a few blocks the child begins to miss Mommy and will come running home, all the previously perceived offenses either forgiven or forgotten. Lesson learned.
That's how I see God's sometimes inexplicable lessons. He's letting us work things out for ourselves, knowing all the while that if he were to rescue us at every turn, even wrong turns, we'd never come to understand anything. We'd simply never learn. But He never leaves us. He's always shadowing half a block behind and keeping loving watch over us.
So, for now I'm working hard to be patient while He does His work. In the meantime I guess I'll have to muster the best of my human defenses to fight against all those tendencies that put me beyond His will until He sees fit to assist me by His grace.
Psalm 40:1-2
I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on rock, making my steps secure.
I'll admit to a good dose of disappointment upon learning, as a new Christian, that my remaking is to be a process rather than an event. Were it my way, I'd have been granted instant spiritual maturity, and all of my many faults would have fallen away like a shell. Not so much! Instead I find that God will do His work on me gradually and on His schedule. A schedule, that from my impatient, very human perspective, is maddeningly slow
So, while I'm always overjoyed and deeply grateful at the moments when I can see the evidence of His improvement in me, I'm always saddened when, having thought myself well on my way towards once and for all shedding my old lusts and faults, I fall at the first strong gust of worldly wind.
This happened over the weekend. After having a great week where I felt very close to God, and very serene, I found myself Saturday stewing over many of the same problems and falling, again, into the same old resentment and anger that I want so badly to leave behind. Then Sunday, after a very nice church service, I watched myself become the same old churlish, childish grumbler of old when things didn't go just my way.
I do pray for serenity, for calm, for shelter from temptation, and for love to replace any lingering resentment in my heart. But I want it NOW, and my God has other ideas. I'm guessing that the plans He has for me will require the understanding that there is to be gained by the lessons He's leading me through. My job for now is to accept His timeline, and endeavor to understand.
I used this analogy in Sunday school last week: We've all seen movies where a child with freshly hurt feelings will decide to run away from home, and his loving and wise Mom, rather than forbid it, will simply help him pack his suitcase and let go on his way only to shadow them down the block just far enough back to be out of sight. After a few blocks the child begins to miss Mommy and will come running home, all the previously perceived offenses either forgiven or forgotten. Lesson learned.
That's how I see God's sometimes inexplicable lessons. He's letting us work things out for ourselves, knowing all the while that if he were to rescue us at every turn, even wrong turns, we'd never come to understand anything. We'd simply never learn. But He never leaves us. He's always shadowing half a block behind and keeping loving watch over us.
So, for now I'm working hard to be patient while He does His work. In the meantime I guess I'll have to muster the best of my human defenses to fight against all those tendencies that put me beyond His will until He sees fit to assist me by His grace.
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