Today was my first chemotherapy session. Not bad, so far. I feel just a little weak at this point. And I'm consistently told that this regimen isn't nearly as drastic as others - what Melanie went through with her breast cancer for example.
Anyway, even though they kept me a bit fuzzy brained with Benadryl, I had plenty of time to think about the disease and my immediate future. The fact is that my future with this is still uncertain. As I gather from looking it up on-line, I have about an even-steven chance of surviving this for any length of time. This prodigals walk may be nearing home, or I may have a good way to go yet. I'll say again that I'm not anxious about it as I wrote a couple of posts ago.
But right now I'm feeling as though this experience of having a potentially fatal disease was designed, in part at least, as a swift kick in the backside for me. I've been sort of waiting for something pretty major to assigned to me by Him for His work. And this season should serve as a NOT SO SUBTLE reminder that time is of the essence (for all of us!) and that I'd best be getting along on His business.
In a case of probably not so coincidental timing, I'd answered the conviction to become involved with Compassion as a volunteer advocate about a month before the diagnosis came. And with my newly appreciated sense of the brevity of our time I'm more eager than ever to get busy. So, just as I get this push from behind, I also have set in place a plan. Not by accident, I suspect.
Perhaps Compassion with be the whole of the ministry assigned to me, or maybe there will be other things later. In either case He has a willing servant in me.
The course of my treatment will be a chemo treatment every two weeks for six months. I'm feeling pretty confident that He's not done with me and expects me to finally use the abilities He's generously given me to good effect. (but, with just a couple of tallents for now - not too big!) Time will tell how the treatment will effect my ability to vigorously carry out that work over the next few months. But there's little doubt that if he sends me out, I'll be sent out with the energy and vigor required.
Time to ROCK!
Anyway, even though they kept me a bit fuzzy brained with Benadryl, I had plenty of time to think about the disease and my immediate future. The fact is that my future with this is still uncertain. As I gather from looking it up on-line, I have about an even-steven chance of surviving this for any length of time. This prodigals walk may be nearing home, or I may have a good way to go yet. I'll say again that I'm not anxious about it as I wrote a couple of posts ago.
But right now I'm feeling as though this experience of having a potentially fatal disease was designed, in part at least, as a swift kick in the backside for me. I've been sort of waiting for something pretty major to assigned to me by Him for His work. And this season should serve as a NOT SO SUBTLE reminder that time is of the essence (for all of us!) and that I'd best be getting along on His business.
In a case of probably not so coincidental timing, I'd answered the conviction to become involved with Compassion as a volunteer advocate about a month before the diagnosis came. And with my newly appreciated sense of the brevity of our time I'm more eager than ever to get busy. So, just as I get this push from behind, I also have set in place a plan. Not by accident, I suspect.
Perhaps Compassion with be the whole of the ministry assigned to me, or maybe there will be other things later. In either case He has a willing servant in me.
The course of my treatment will be a chemo treatment every two weeks for six months. I'm feeling pretty confident that He's not done with me and expects me to finally use the abilities He's generously given me to good effect. (but, with just a couple of tallents for now - not too big!) Time will tell how the treatment will effect my ability to vigorously carry out that work over the next few months. But there's little doubt that if he sends me out, I'll be sent out with the energy and vigor required.
Time to ROCK!
No comments:
Post a Comment