The Fog

Hey! Who's up for another Appalachian Trial analogy?


Anyone who’s done any significant hiking in the Southern Appalachians has most likely encountered some pretty intense fog. As the warm moist air of the Southeast is uplifted on contact with the mountains it encounters the cooler air at higher altitude causing these thick, pea soup conditions. It’s because of persistent fog that we’ve named them the “Smokey Mountains.“ And during my travels on the Appalachian Trail I’ve experienced times where I’ve hiked nearly entire days unable to see more than a few feet at best.
Under those conditions it’s especially important to literally watch ones step. Even on a good day it’s possible to lose ones bearings, find that you took a wrong turn a mile back and have to backtrack. Enshrouded in dense fog, that difficulty multiplies, so constant vigilance is required in order to stay on the path.
It can also be dangerous. Since trails often skirt along steep drop offs and even cliffs, it’s conceivable that one could simply step over the side.
All this is quite exhausting, and not at all exalting, because, as you reach the crests of those mountains you know that, but for the fog, you’d be enjoying a beautiful vista with fifty miles or more of visibility. Those mind blowing mountains are out there behind the veil, but you have to walk on by without this pay off from your climb.  It’s very frustrating, and by the end of such a day you’re wet and tired and discouraged.
Isn’t this very much like what we encounter in the course of our modern lives? As Christians attempting to keep to the narrow path it seems that the World is always there to obscure the way and lead us off course. These days we live in a media cocoon of sex, degradation, and materialism. It’s everywhere, and it sends up a seductively pervasive siren call enticing us to feed our lust, greed, and self-absorption. The din is constant, and deliberately leaves precious little, if any, time to look inward or outward – to be still and know that He is God.
Even though I strive to find quiet in my own life, extended silence is proving to be an elusive quality. Eight hours a day I work in an office in which the radio plays full time. My coworkers insist on it. And whether Top Forty Pop or Christian Contemporary – I find them both equally distracting. I’ve come to treasure the solace of my commute to work. I used to listen to music or news during my daily drive time, but since giving myself to Christ and coming to recognize the value of quiet I now turn off the radio and drive in blessed silence.
In the evening I arrive home to the constant presence of television. And oh what an immoral wasteland that is! A typical evening of channel surfing will find a group of immature and oversexed, exhibitionistic young adults living their self-absorbed lives out loud on the “reality” show Jersey Shore, a cable news host self-righteously picking over the bones of the latest tragedy or scandal, any number of morally vacuous network series, and a group of you men (or young women) exhibiting all manner of adolescent shenanigans and/or vicious subterfuge to supposedly win the heart of a designated bachelor or bachelorette. All of it ugly and all of it empty. Looking for something a little more high minded? Well you can tune into The National Geographic Channel to hear their take on “The Real Jesus.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust anyone to tell me anything about Jesus that can’t be found in The Word.
Television isn’t without merit. You’ll find the occasional gem there, but doing so is pretty daunting.
And let’s not forget the Internet. Hey, I’m a blogger and a podcaster, so it’s obvious that I’m quite at home in the Digital Universe. The World Wide Web is, hands down, the most powerful communication medium ever. Power to do good, and power to destroy. I’m now involved in using that power to share the Gospel and my personal experiences as a Christian, and it’s been an incredible resource in that regard. But I can’t open my in-box without encountering multiple offers for this or that sexually oriented service. The most heartbreaking I’ve seen in a while is for a site offering to connect married or committed people with each other touting the tag line, “Life is Short, Have An Affair.”
One can harness this power for good or for bad. Facebook and other social networks have exploded in membership recent years to the point of becoming true phenomenon and making billionaires of their developers. And I think they’re pretty cool. I‘ve reconnected with tons of friends I most likely never would have heard from had it not been for Facebook. It’s a great service if kept in perspective, but far too many find themselves spending hours a night chatting or playing on-line games available there while neglecting their families and while neglecting God. (Your Humble Blogger is quite guilty on all counts)
But when I accepted Christ last October, I was able to make a very public confession of faith to the two hundred or so friends I have on Facebook. And I’m frequently heartened to see others share bits of scripture or requests for prayer there. So, this can be a very positive tool when used sparingly. Still, despite all it’s potential positives, it should be recognized that social media is part of the noise and should be kept in perspective.
I don’t’ think I even need to go into the terribly corrosive effect of on-line pornography. That’s the fog at it’s thickest.
And aside from the electronic media, keep in mind that magazines, newspaper, and billboards also contribute to the mantra: BUY, AMASS, LUST, WANT!
Recognize this for what it is: A smoke screen, a fog sent up by The Enemy to block our view of God’s glory, obscure the path, and, perhaps, lead us hopelessly astray. We may even walk off the very edge all the while believing our next step will fall firmly on solid ground.
But there’s great news - we can turn off the fog machine whenever we want. Sure, we live in Satan’s world, and will by necessity have to move through the fog. But, in our own homes, in our own cars, in our private places we can gain control of the fog. We can judiciously limit our TV and Internet time. We can turn drivetime into Godtime. In so doing we can see through to the glory of God's reality.
As believers it’s vitally important that we do so. We need to find time each day to shut out the noise, the melt away the fog, and simply be with out Lord. Scripture revealed Christ doing just that time and again:

Matthew 14:22-23 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone,

So I resolve to redouble my own quiet time. And to not allow the pressing urgency of the World, an enticing television schedule, or the lure of the Internet to draw me away. And I resolve to watch my step when I can’t help but move through the fog. It’s tricky ground out there, let’s all be careful!

PODCAST!

 Hey! I put together a little podcast reading of my previous post "Essientials." http://prodigalswalk.podomatic.com/player/web/2011-08-31T12_36_41-07_00

Smithereens

Break me, Lord.
Shatter the sinful man,
and leave not one stone upon another.
Grind down the pride and lust and hatred.
                 but,
from the dust of those ruins,
    build me anew - deep of foundation - true to plumb,
        high, and higher still,
'till all can see, revealed at last,
a monument to your love.
Break me.
Lord.
I pray.

What's it gonna cost ya?

In my first post for this blog I wrote about my impatience with my spiritual progress and the fact that I was a bit disappointed to find that I wouldn’t simply be granted relief from temptation and other manifestations of a heart reborn in Christ. I still experience on-going frustration with the struggle to rise above my base instincts to follow Christ’s path.
  

   I’ve gotten angry at times – with God and with myself – that I’m not stronger or that I don’t seem to be getting any help with the resistance. (Maybe I should say that I don’t seem to be getting any obvious help.)

   Today, during my quiet time commute to work, it occurred to me that I wasn’t looking at this problem from the right perspective. Because, if I’m making an offering to God, then it needs to count for something, right? If God were to simply shelter me from temptation then what would be the value of my resistance - my sacrifice? I’d be offering nothing. Indeed, I’d be doing nothing since there be nothing to resist. No opportunity in that circumstance to offer anything to God.

    Viewed from that perspective, then, the question becomes “do I love God more than I’m drawn to this Earthly thing?” Does my relationship with Him take precedence over whatever sin I’m battling?  And, if the answer is yes (and it is!), then the very difficulty of the struggle makes it a sacrifice worthy of God.

     Psalm 51:17  reads:

        The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.

     A  humble, broken spirit will move a Christian to remain obedient to God and faithful to their spouse, even with in the heart, despite the sometimes nearly overwhelming biological drive not to.

     A humble, broken spirit will willingly sacrifice wealth and material comfort, beyond our surplus, despite our inborn tendency towards greed, comfort, and security.

     A humble, broken spirit will summon up forgiveness even in the face of outrageous offense.

     A humble, broken spirit will love the unlovable.

    And because these things are difficult – because they’ll cost you – they become a fitting offering to our loving God who freely offers His forgiving grace to the undeserving. 

Go Time

Time to boogie!
   Something's happening. I've known since I came back to Christ that my service to Him wouldn't be a part-time affair. And, now I've come under a strong conviction to move, and move soon. In order to obey God I'm being shown a course that will require me to abandon the security of a job I've held for over 20 yrs during a time of economic distress. And this is going to take an enormous dose of faith and trust on my part.
   Not only is it the security of the job that's at stake. I owe way more that I should - the consequence of not being within  the will of God for all those years - and I'm a 51 year old man with Muscular Dystrophy. Finding another job under these circumstances in these times would be difficult if not impossible. God is asking me nothing less than to trust him with my entire Earthy wellbeing. Physical. Financial. Circumstantial.
   So I guess that it's time to put up or shut up. To prove that my newfound faith is more than fluff and feathers. And I'll admit, my friends, that I'm beyond terrified. But the conviction is strong. God is telling me that he has doors prepared for me to walk through, that he'll take care of everything, and that I need but to trust. Whew!
    I've been plagued, perhaps, by more than my share of physical difficulties. But I've also been blessed with more than my share of talents. And, the most convincing argument I make to myself to act on this conviction is this: If I die tomorrow, how will I explain to my Lord why I let gifts he provided gather dust while his plan went neglected and souls went unsaved? 
    It's time. I need your prayers proabably more than I ever have. I ask God tonight to give me the courage, insight, determination, and physical strength to follow his path. I'll be deep in contemplation and prayer over this.

It's a rainy night in Georgia. And it's rainin' all over the world...

Proverbs 16:18-19

   Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud

    Imagine you’re camping. (Oh joy! Yet another camping analogy!) You’ve found the perfect campsite. The smell of the forest is wonderful, all around you everything is sun dappled and green, and the sound of the babbling brook is music to the ears.

    So you pitch your tent, make everything tight, and open out your sleeping bag. Everything is in place and perfect! You’re ready to spend a relaxing night in the woods. Then, at three AM you’re awakened by what sounds like a grenade being detonated within five feet of your tent. Incredible flashes of light clue you into the fact that a thunderstorm has blown up, and you’re suddenly not nearly so sure of your tent. “Did I hammer those stakes far enough into the ground?” you wonder. And as you’re laying there hoping that you’ll manage to remain dry ‘till morning the first drip hits you square between the eyes.

      When a tent is stitched together thousands of needle holes are created, and it’s necessary to seal those holes before you hit the trail. But, it’s virtually impossible to fill every hole, or to know which ones are neglected. You won’t know just how well you’ve done until it really matters and in my experience the tent will leak every time and in many places at once. Rain will find a way in. It’s almost as though rain takes offense at very idea that someone would propose to spend the night outside and remain dry. “What? You think you’re gonna stay dry in my forest? Think again, Chief!” So rain’s onslaught will be relentless – every seam tested, every possible weakness tried.  

    This is how I view pride. Consider this: when one kneels in prayer it’s unlikely that lust or hatred or covetousness would creep into one’s consciousness unnoticed. These sins are glaringly obvious. They practically come with a siren and a flashing red light. With pride, not so much. It’s so maddeningly insidious that it can creep in anywhere and at any time – even into your prayers and every other part of your spiritual life. It’s like the ninja of sins – you never know it’s there ‘till it’s too late.

     In my case, the enemy, finding me now covered by God’s grace – my new spiritual tent, if you’ll allow me to torture this analogy – is immediately incensed. I was his possession! His Chump! He owned me,and he's in no mood to cede his former possession! "Think again, Chief!"
   And so he sends pride like the rain to test my defenses, it’s relentless and can exploit even the smallest breech in the fabric of my shelter. Left unchecked, it’ll eventually soak through everything. (hmmm, sounds like that yeast of the Pharasees, eh?)

   I am a prideful man seeking humility. Lord, help me find the leaks and help me to stay ever vigilant. The rain will fall without ceasing from now on.

Just Let Go

It's more the heart, less he mind, that comes to understand God.
   Over the weekend I had an email exchange with a good friend regarding objections he has to Christianity (and presumably the existence of any god), and we proceeded to discuss C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity with the expectation that I’d be suggesting other titles as well. *

    I have read quite a lot since I began my own search for God just under a year ago now. In fact, this study has happily supplanted a lot of pastimes by which I wasted time in the past. And this intellectual approach has been immensely helpful to me. Not only in broadening my own understanding, but also in preparing me to defend my faith – something I’ve had to do more than once.

    But, though I discussed this in my testimony (under the This Prodigal’s Story tab), I think it’s worth reiteration here that the turning point for me came when I ceased trying to think my way to Him and simply invited him in.

     Among the Bible’s promises is that those who seek “with all (their) heart and all (their) soul” will find their way to God. My seeking took a new direction at the point when I fully understood this promise. This takes the responsibility off of the seeker, as I see it. God promises to do the heavy lifting, and this realization changed everything. No longer would I have to wrestle with the question of His existence.

     I figured that if I sought, in earnest, and didn’t find him then it would be His problem. All that mattered was that I was sincere in my effort and open of mind and heart.

     And for me it worked. I sought, and God made himself known to me. Or, rather, he reintroduced himself, since I’d already had a previous encounter with him.

      If you’re an non-believer who’s made his/her way here and is looking for a better final answer than “nothing,” perhaps you could find that answer by simply, and sincerely, opening your heart and mind and praying. When I did the same I wasn’t sure if I was praying to Anyone at all, and even though no other human being on the planet knew I was doing it, I felt silly. But I persisted, and  I found Him. The change in me, though ongoing, has been astonishing. You can have this, too.

     Ask yourself what you have to lose by asking Him in. The worst that can happen is that you’re no worse off than you are now. And the best that can happen is that best that can happen – eternal life and an intimate relationship with God. And that’s quite “something.”

*though this particular friend a super nice guy and not in the least a rapscallion, given some of my other past associations I've come to humorously regard my old address book as a "target rich enviornment" for witnessing!

Who me? Lazy?

Walking the walk

I was reading recently a story on a political blog that touched on some Christian topic and came across a post in the comments section accusing Christians of taking the “lazy way.”  I thought, “Dude, really? Sure you wouldn’t like to rethink that?” 

    Having now walked both the Worlds path and attempted Christ’s, I can assure that commenter that even attempting to live up to Christ’s standards is no lazy endeavor – intellectually or otherwise.
     This is a standard that considers lust and hatred to carry the same weight as adultery and murder. It calls for self-denial at every turn. It also calls for an almost super-human degree of forgiveness toward our enemies. When Christ instructed “take up your cross, and follow me” he was speaking metaphorically, but he was speaking very much in earnest. He fully expects us to give every drop of ourselves.

     Sure, you can find those Christians who aren’t even trying to live it. They abound, and are thrust forward as exemplars of the whole of the church every time a non-believer wants an argument. But those we’re speaking of here are those genuinely striving to live up to Christ’s nearly impossible expectations.  

      Want an easy path? Well that is the one offered by the world.  That cushy, downhill path will allow you to indulge yourself to the limit of your resources and speed you merrily and obliviously towards destruction.  Lust, greed, and hate all come easy to the human condition. Its self-restraint, generosity, and love that we have to work at. Sound lazy to you?

       

Whose Will Be Done?

"You gotta serve somebody" Bob Dylan

   I was reading somewhere recently that when the Big Bang Theory was first proposed there was an intense backlash from scientists wishing to deny it. This theory, is seems, could lend itself to the notion of a beginning to the known Universe, or, more pointedly, a creation. And this just wouldn't do. No these learned men had pre-determined that there was no God, no Creator and were quite comfortable with that state of affairs. They would brook no disruption of their tidy cosmology.
   But why, I thought, would scientists - presumably dispassionate seekers of truth - be so willing to reject a scientific theory based on its philosophical ramifications? Surely they of all men would wish to follow Jefferson's prescription to "follow the truth wherever it may lead."
   Well, the answer is, I think, the human will. Scientists for all of their talent are still simply men and subject to the full gamut of human folly, and willfulness is chief among our follies. These men, as all men, simply wished to walk their own road free of the haunting conviction to do otherwise common to the believer.
    Overcoming this drive to elevate self - to set ourselves up as our own gods - is the central struggle of Mankind. All Earthly strife flows from this. But Jesus instructed us to deny ourselves and follow him. Paul spoke of the daily struggle to "die to ourselves." And the believer must strive to do just that.  
    I think it was C.S.Lewis that said "...In the end there are two kinds of people. Those who say to God 'Thy will be done', and those to whom God says thy will be done."   In other words, God doesn't banish the non-believer. He banishes himself. For those outside of His will, only destruction awaits.
    Where am I outside of the will of God? How better to "die" to myself today. Help me understand, Lord.




  

My Testimony

Your Humble Blogger Gets Busy For The Lawd, Part II

   The night I sang my song in church, I was asked to give my testimony on Easter Sunday. I agreed at once, but I didn't consider that on Easter we'd have a very full house. So, this morning I was pretty much nervous as could be. My hands were actually ice cold, and since my portion of the service didn't come until nearly the end, I had to sit and squirm all the way thru!
   I took that opportunity to pray that He give me courage, a strong voice, and that He remove me from the equation - that it be his voice and words I spoke. I put it in His hands, and He got me through it.
   I took along my cool Zoom H1 recorder and here's the audio (uploaded to YouTube since I don't know of a free audio hosting service.
(I should mention that this came in the midst of a musical presentation themed "More That A Carpenter." Hence the reference. I also apologize for the typo in the vid title!)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mKrzUSgaYA

Rendering Unto Ceasar

   Tax day was Monday of this week, and my wife and I had to mail a check to Uncle Sam that drained our meager savings. This comes at a time of financial belt tightening, so it was particularly galling to part with the cash knowing that those in power will fritter away these dearly earned dollars on hair brained schemes doomed from conception to failure, to support things like Planned Parenthood which we abhor, and generally make a mess of things on our dime.
   So, it's a challenge for me to do this with a glad heart. I've not quite gotten there yet. But I'm trying.
   But I will say that adhereing to Christian financial advice saved me on this. I had a reserve put away for just such an unexpected expense. I've very thankful for that!
   I'll continue to work on this. Maybe I should pray for the I.R.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never quite got to meet him...

THIS IS A BIT OF A DEPARTURE. ORDINARILY I POST ON MY OWN THOUGHTS AND STRUGGLES AS A NEW CHRISTIAN. THIS POST WILL BE A LITTLE STEP BACK AND A MINI TRIBUTE TO A GREAT MUSICIAN I VERY MUCH ADMIRE.

Out Of The Blue

Your Humble Blogger gets busy fo da Lawd!   (MUSIC ADDED)

  The other morning I had a few minutes to kill, and I picked up my guitar to run a few scales, play a tune or two - nothing serious. Then, with no warning, a song began to come into my mind. It was lyrics actually. I'd written the tune years before. But with seemingly no effort on my part this song just wrote itself as I watched from the sidelines. I have no doubt that it was God's lyrics being written.
   So I ended up with a pretty good song. It's not Handal's Messiah, but it ain't bad.
   Well, I was happy to have the song, but God wasn't through. I received instructions to share it immediately. You should really be careful what you let God see you doing, 'cause you might have a conversation like this one:

  Maker of the Universe: Say, Hugh (my actual name), I see you have a new song there?
  Me: Yes, it's a new song. Umm Hmmm.
  Maker of the Universe: Looks like it's about submission to me.
Me: That's the theme of it, yes.
  Maker of the Universe: So, you're ready to go to work for me then?
  Me:  Yes!
  Maker of the Universe: Well, okay, Chief, how's about you prove it, eh? I want you to sing that song in church...TONIGHT.
  Me: Errrrrrrr! Ummmm, well I'm not a singer. You know that.And there's a chord I can't quite hit cleanly. And I still haven't practiced enou....
  Maker of the Universe: Hugh. Not my problem.
  Me: But it's not even quite finished yet.
  Maker of the Universe: Again, Not My Problem...

   So, I finished it Sunday afternoon and sang it in church Sunday evening. I didn't want to.I was nervous as a cat. But it went over well. I know my limitations as a singer, so can only assume there are lots of tone deaf people in our congregation 'cause they all gave me kudos.They're nice like that.
    I didn't tell God "no", though, and that was a huge victory for me. I pray that he'll continue to use to me good effect. I'm ready, Lord, bring it on! 

Psalm 33:1-3
Rejoice in the Lord, you righteous ones;
praise from the upright is beautiful.
Praise the Lord with the lyre;
make music to Him with a ten-stringed harp.
Sing a new song to Him;
play skillfully on the strings, with a joyful shout.

Many a mile I've walked in darkness,
Many a squandered day,
Chasin' the dream that I could find my own way,
Many a path I've stumbled blindly,
Now I give it all to You,
Take my life, and my heart, and my soul, and my body too.

Lord, Take this lost and broken man,
And make of him a voice across this land,
For Your Glory

My gratitude is overflowing,
For Your strong and boundless love,
It's a stream You promised,
Never would run dry.
Should I sit beside that river,
and just watch the water flow?
Or should I set sail,
And go where the river goes?


I can see Your work within me,
I can sense the change.
I can feel this sinner's heart,
begin to rearrange.
I will walk the path You show me,
I pray You'll light my way,
I'll take up my cross,
and follow You today.

Gratitude

Undeserved!

    For thirty-four years I thumbed my nose at God's free gift of love and salvation while I squandered my hale and hearty youth in foolish self-indulgence. Only when I was physically broken with virtually nothing left to offer him, did I seek him. My my muscles are wasting, my spine twisted, any my strength nearly depleted. The body I have have to offer to this point of my life  is a mere shell.
    Yet, our loving Lord accepted me anyway.
    This morning I praise Him.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord, for my undeserved salvation.

Broken?

Psalm 51:17

     The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart. 

Incoming!!!

Seeking deeper faith


  I'd love to say that since I accepted Christ my faith had been rock solid. I'd be lying. If you read  the "This Prodigal's Story" tab from my header you'll know that my faith was shaken at the age of fifteen and lost to me for the next thirty-four years. Then I found my way back to faith last October.
   To my great consternation, the skeptical streak that ran through the fabric of my personality at fifteen  is still very much with me at fifty, and this week I endured a real Satanic attack on my faith. I found myself struggling with everything, seemingly at once. It was pretty awful. But, I think that it may have been just another one of those trails God is willing to let me face in order to strengthen me. I did emerge stronger in my faith than before, but not before walking through a very dark valley.
    It helped to read about Billy Graham's own struggle with doubt. Billy, in the early days of his ministry, encountered a lot of opinion among "modern" theologians questioning the authority of the Bible and the divinity of Christ. Billy's battle was resolved when he laid his Bible on a stump in the forest and pledged, on his knees, to accept those scriptures on faith. He acknowledged that there were many troublesome points, many unlikely stories, and many things in the Bible that seemed to be refuted by modern science and scholarship. But that he would put all of that aside and simply trust God.
   Well, seeing Graham, one of God's dearest servants, struggle in the same as me was a great boost. I've decided that I'll regard doubts as a breeze I'll allow to just blow on by. I can't really keep the breeze from blowing, but I can certainly keep it from setting up and whirlwind in my heart and head.
   

Essentials

What to keep? What to throw away?


   As a younger and much stronger man, I once set out to hike the Appalachian Trail. The trail runs over 2000 miles from Georgia to Maine along the spine of the Appalachians, and every year hundreds of hikers will set off from Georgia's Springer Mountain with high hopes and backpacks brimming with shiny new gear.
    In the first miles of my own hike I was amazed to see articles of that shiny gear begin to show up abandoned at trail side. The first thing I saw was a nearly brand new wool sweater neatly folded and left beside the trail by some previous hiker. Folded! This wasn't left by accident! Then, as the days passed, we seemed to find a  steady inventory of pricey, or simply heavy, items simply left behind at trail shelters: an elaborate butane stove, tents, canned food, articles of clothing, and even a very expensive and pristine pair of high top leather basketball shoes in my size!
    It became fairly obvious what was going on. This was simply excess weight jettisoned by other hikers after the briefest experience with the unyielding nature of the mountains. Weight x Incline x Mileage = Exhaustion.  It seems that the gear that had seemed so utterly necessary while perusing backpacking catalogs by the fireplace in January proved to be just no more than a useless, heavy burden once the boots hit the trail. It's an expensive lesson for novice hikers to learn, but they only have to learn it once. Just a few days into an extended trek, a hiker will have come to understand the true meaning of "essential."
    What a perfect analogy for the first steps of a new Christian's walk with Christ. During our pre-Christian lives we accumulate all manner of dead weight - bad habits, unhealthy relationships, obsessions, addictions, possessions, resentments, prejudices - the list goes on. I'm guessing that of the learning process is coming to understand the true meaning of what is essential in this brand new trek on which we're embarking.
    These days I feel much like those novice hikers. I'm excited about the trail ahead, eager to experience every bend along the way - every breathtaking vista. But I'm also having to begin the process of deciding what's an essential and what's dead weight to be jettisoned.
    Some things I've found surprisingly easy to let go off, others less so, and still others I find disturbingly difficult to shed. And, there are those things to which I find myself tenaciously clinging to even as they hinder my forward progress.
    But, eventually all the useless "gear" will have to go. This isn't the soft, downhill stroll I was on before. Now the way has grown steep, the path difficult, and the weather unpredictable. To walk it will mean laying the dead weight - some of it dearly held - beside the path and moving on. Trails end, I'm told, is well worth it!

(P.S.  While on on this backpacking analogy, let me throw in something else that just occurred to me. At the end of a long day of hiking with a fully load backpack (even one with the excess removed) you experience an odd sense of lightness when you finally shed the pack for the night. It's suddenly as though you could jump ten feet strait up. It's a very pleasant, albeit short-lived, sensation.
    Well, can you imagine the sense of lightness we'll feel when we finally shed of our physical bodies and earthly burdens upon arrival in heaven?! )
  

Lord Grant Me Patience (and be quick about it!)

C'mon, already!


Psalm 40:1-2
  I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on rock, making my steps secure.

I'll admit to a good dose of disappointment upon learning, as a new Christian, that my remaking is to be a process rather than an event. Were it my way, I'd have been granted instant spiritual maturity, and all of my many faults would have fallen away like a shell. Not so much! Instead I find that God will do His work on me gradually and on His schedule. A schedule, that from my impatient, very human perspective, is maddeningly slow
So, while I'm always overjoyed and deeply grateful at the moments when I can see the evidence of His improvement in me, I'm always saddened when, having thought myself well on my way towards once and for all shedding my old lusts and faults, I fall at the first strong gust of worldly wind.    
   This happened over the weekend. After having a great week where I felt very close to God, and very serene, I found myself Saturday stewing over many of  the same problems and falling, again, into the same old resentment and anger that I want so badly to leave behind. Then Sunday, after a very nice church service, I watched myself become the same old churlish, childish grumbler of old when things didn't go just my way.
     I do pray for serenity, for calm, for shelter from temptation, and for love to replace any lingering resentment in my heart. But I  want it NOW, and my God has other ideas. I'm guessing that the plans He has for me will require the understanding that there is to be gained by the lessons He's leading me through. My job for now is to accept His timeline, and endeavor to understand.
     I used this analogy in Sunday school last week: We've all seen movies where a child with freshly hurt feelings will decide to run away from home, and his loving and wise Mom, rather than forbid it, will simply help him pack his suitcase and let go on his way only to shadow them down the block just far enough back to be out of sight. After a few blocks the child begins to miss Mommy and will come running home, all the previously perceived offenses either forgiven or forgotten. Lesson learned.
   That's how I see God's sometimes inexplicable lessons. He's letting us work things out for ourselves, knowing all the while that if he were to rescue us at every turn, even wrong turns, we'd never come to understand anything. We'd simply never learn. But He never leaves us. He's always shadowing half a block behind and keeping loving watch over us.
    So, for now I'm working hard to be patient while He does His work. In the meantime I guess I'll have to muster the best of my human defenses to fight against all those tendencies that put me beyond His will until He sees fit to assist me by His grace.